Posts Tagged ‘suckholes’

It’s bottom of the barrel time

August 20, 2012 15 comments

It’s becoming readily apparent just how desperate the Opposition is getting in their efforts to topple the Government.

Before we go into the details of their effort in subverting democracy in this country, let’s have a quick look at the beat-up checklist:

  1. Is it leading up to a Newspoll week?…..check.
  2. Did the Opposition have a bad week?….check.
  3. Did the Government have a good week?…check.
  4. Was Tony Abbott shown up to be a hypocritical arseclown?…check.

So having met all the criteria it’s full steam ahead for yet another beat-up over something trivial to attempt to derail the Government.

So what rabbit do they pull out of a hat?  Nothing less than a 15 year old corruption slur against the PM, which was disproved at the time and has done so every time they wheeled it out for another airing.  Of course, the talking heads are treating this like earth shattering new revelations but it has been raised at least once before and shot down rapidly.  When it was raised yesterday by the paragon of relevance Paul Kelly *snigger* the PM basically said put up or shut up…as in send the allegation on to the relevant people or STFU.  Didn’t that get the pantswetters all excited.

The was no other luminary than that bastion of fairness Graham Richardson (sarcasm alert) spruiking that the PM handled it poorly and she is in “big trouble with caucus” before once more floating out a hint of Ruddstoration.  In short he pretty much hit all the beat-up memes quite thoroughly, with no regard for the reality of the world that we live in.

And the crapulence cherry on the top of shithouse journalism in this country?  Some faux-concern that the PM was being disrespectful by wearing a bronze medal in a photo that she was obviously given by an Olympian.


Seriously, it boggles the mind that the LNP PR wing mainstream media in this country can be this shit and still take itself seriously as a necessary part of our democracy.


Media WINS!

February 23, 2012 36 comments

A heartfelt congratulations goes out to the media today.

They have now successfully proven that they have just as much clout and concern for the good of this nation as Clubs Australia or the big miners.  After all they finally got a Government politician to jump through one of their hoops after months of trying.

In my opinion, by feeding the media trolls and forcing the spill Rudd has specifically highlighted why he should not be allowed back into the top job.  If he has been the one doing the undermining of the Government with his leaks, then this entire process is all about him…not what’s best for the country or the government, just about him.

This makes him the Tony Abbott of the ALP…only concerned about getting into power and not about the consequences after it happens.  The fact that Tony Windsor has come out and explicitly stated that he will not support the Government if Rudd gets back in should put paid to any ascension by Rudd…unless of course they are all incurably stupid and media/poll driven.

By far the best possible outcome is that Rudd loses the vote resoundingly and goes quietly to the back benches.  Of course if it is indeed all about him and not what’s best, when he loses he would have a dummy spit and quit all together forcing a by-election…thereby proving the point that he is not the right man for the job.

Anyway let’s see how the events unfold next week.  In the meantime prepare for the orgy of self-congratulation by each and every member of the Canberra Goldfish Bowl…and look out for the smug smiles of the ones that manage to get their heads onscreen.

UPDATE:  A better way of saying what I’m trying to above.

UPDATE 2:  Tim Dunlop with a typically lucid take on it.

Government has lost the media war

May 16, 2011 48 comments

It’s official.  The Government has been completely routed in the media war.  It is a triumph of the sound bite over dry facts, the beat-up over reality, and fiction over fact.

Now we all know the Government massively behind the eight ball, with a hostile media willing to make shit up to further their narrative, an Opposition willing to feed the chooks with all the 3 word slogan and sound bites they can deal with, and a largely apathetic public, but it shouldn’t have come to this.

To mind, there are a few reasons it has come to this:

  1. The disgusting media bias present in this country is just obscene at the moment.  If your opinion was formed purely by what the MSM reported you would think that the Government is taking all your money off you and pissing it up the wall with nothing to show for it. Also that they are taking every opportunity to knife you in the back and drive you into the ground.  Of course nothing could be further from the truth, but when every story on policy starts with “The Opposition says…” you know where you stand.
  2. By committing to cutting back on the obscene amounts spent on Government advertising they have effectively shot themselves in the foot.  With the MSM pissed off that they don’t have this massive stream of revenue any more and with the huge free kicks given to the LNP, you know they aren’t going to do them any favours.
  3. The “journalists” currently reporting on politics have so debased their profession that they have become glorified typists.  They no longer investigate or probe anything…if it’s juicy and given to them by the Opposition they will run it verbatim on page 1, then retract later on page 15 when the fallout happens.
  4. I hesitate to bring something this shallow up, but the Government needs to get some spokespeople with personality in front of the camera.  When the PM is speaking at a press conference I am constantly looking for a man with a box offstage because she is so robotic and affected.  The public can’t engage with them because they are simply so grey and politician-like.

Now I don’t think it’s a completely lost cause, but they need to take action quickly and strongly.

  1. Whenever an interviewer brings up a spurious talking point factoid, slap them down hard and fast.  Slam them with some short, punchy statements with salient facts and don’t be afraid to ridicule them.  I constantly find myself yelling at the screen during these situations, trying to get them to tell the person off.  A little gentle sarcasm or mocking wouldn’t go astray either…Aussies appreciate someone who doesn’t put up with shit and to watch some of them sit there and take it is just soul destroying at times.
  2. Get on live TV as much as possible.  This will eliminate the chance of unfavourable editing, plus if it is combined with 1. will make for great coverage the following day.
  3. For God’s sake inject some personality.  Everyone agrees that Julia is a fantastic performer during QT, routinely destroying the Opposition soundly but you never hear it at all.  She needs to bring this to her interviews and other media engagements.  I would love to hear her carve up some Limited News nuffie who asks her some ridiculous question about her jacket or handbag.

Any other suggestions?

PS  On a side note I had a brief discussion with a very LNP-leaning acquaintance that started with “so do you feel rich earning 150K +”?  Of course, this is the meme pushed by the MSM and he repeated their talking points verbatim.  From there we veered into the carbon tax (yes all the buttons were pushed in sequence) and he came out with something that just stopped me cold.  Even though I repeatedly told him the point of the carbon tax was that the polluters were taxed and that the money gained was passed on to us to compensate for price rises, he said that because those earning 150K were getting the family benefits cut, this meant that they would also not get full compensation from the carbon tax.  No matter how many times I tried to tell him they were completey unrelated (almost to the point of divorce from my nearby wife) he still conflated the two.

I wonder how commonplace this is?

Political soft-cocks

April 1, 2011 10 comments

While watching Sunrise (yes…I know) this morning I came across yet another example of political media fuckwittery that set my blood boiling.  To top this all off, it was compounded even further by the lamest of lame appearance by a politician on their “Big Guns of Politics” section.  Let me explain.

Sunrise started with Kochie’s “serious” voice declaiming that the government is going to send asylum seekers to a five star resort on the Gold Coast.  Now this statement has very little relation to the actual facts which are:

  1. The resort has been closed for years.
  2. The resort (Kooralbyn) is 1.5 hours from the coast so hardly counts as “on the Gold Coast”
  3. Any people there are unlikely to get maid service and play golf all day.

Of course reality doesn’t get eyes on screen or boost ratings so beat-up has become the method for any and all political stories on these shows…even though they are only going to be superficially covered.

Then the political douchery upped itself a notch when Joe Hockey and Tony Burke hit the screen.  Not missing an opportunity to push the talking points and wheel out a 3 word slogan, Joe hooked in to the asylum seeker debate with the tired old One Nation Liberal lines that Government has no clue, boats should be stopped, Nauru should be back on the agenda yada yada yada….basically everything we’ve ever heard before.

Now you’d think this would be easy stuff for Tony Burke to dispatch considering it’s all been heard before, but does he?  Pigs arse he does!  When Joe trotted out the tired old line that the boats stopped when Nauru was active, in the biggest display of soft-cockery I’ve ever seen Burke let’s him get away with it.  No rebuttal that world wide asylum seeker numbers had dropped at the same time, no recitation that Australian asylum seeker numbers are proportional to world numbers, and no reiteration that the percentage of asylum seekers arriving by boats is miniscule compared to the visa overstayers or those arriving by plane.

The Government should stop being scared of how they are portrayed in the media and use these live opportunities to savage these bullshit talking points of the Opposition.  They should be laughing off their crap assertions and countering with facts and figures at every chance instead of letting them drag the conversation into their own right-wing parallel universe.

You’d think they would have learnt by now that the Australian public doesn’t respect a pussy…show some guts and take the fight back, especially when you absolutely have the facts on your side.

Opposition shows true colours…AGAIN

February 16, 2011 2 comments

Once again the Opposition has shown that there is no measure to how low they will go in their attempts to force their way into Government.

Noted humanitarian Scott Morrison has been polluting the airwaves with his notion that the Government shouldn’t have “wasted” taxpayer dollars flying the families of those victims of the Christmas Island drownings to Sydney for the funerals..after all those refos are rolling in it, why couldn’t they pay for their own ticket.

Frankly this just turns my stomach.  The cost of the airfares would probably be substantially less than what this arsehole has for a stationery allowance in a year (especially toner 🙂 ) and he has the nerve to raise this.  Of course he’s attempting to pander to the Liberals’ loyal following of mouth-breathers and Alan Jones listeners, and has a really good go at it by conflating two of their main (only?) talking points:  refugees and Government waste.  Naturally not wanting to miss a media grab (especially as Mark Riley wasn’t around), Abbott jumps in as well, because as we all know the Independents are simply frothing at the mouth looking for a chance to dump the Government and by golly a few thousand bucks for flying refugees to a funeral sounds like the perfect opportunity.  Arseclown.

Daring to be different, Uncle Joe Hockey pops up with a faux-compassionate take in an attempt to differentiate himself from the raving lunatics in his own party.  Couple this with his attempts to get back on Sunrise on a regular basis and it looks like he’s laying the groundwork for his own tilt as the next big Liberal failure when Abbott get knifed/self-combusts/implodes/gets staked through the heart.

But before we all go into raptures at the thought of a “moderate” Liberal leader, we shouldn’t forget that Joe is the man who:

– was part of the chain of clueless that comprised the Opposition’s budget reply last year

– thinks that having an accounting firm check that your spreadsheet totals add up is an audit

– thinks that $11 billion of bullshit pre-election costings aren’t really that important

Luckily for the Opposition the media has their back and you can expect them to be fully covered by spin and FUD whenever their true incompetence comes to light.

Tony Abbott – nothing but FAIL

February 3, 2011 3 comments

Tony, Tony, Tony…ah he’s the gift that just keeps on giving.

Since the beginning of year it’s been one brain fart after another for the Mad Monk, leading us all to realise just how tightly controlled he was during the election.  Frankly I’m surprise we didn’t have photos of Brian Loughnane with his hand up Abbott’s back working his mouth in that period.

Tony’s recent outstanding performances have really come to light since the rains and flooding in Queensland, and he’s just powered on through ever since.

Firstly, he’s opened up with a lovely duet with Bananaby Joyce of “government didn’t build dams so the flooding is their fault”.  There’s so much fail in this statement it’s hard to know where to begin, but the obvious one is that it’s impossible to dam a FLOOD PLAIN YOU MORON.  Also the fact that his state counterparts were against the dams should have given him pause, but that’s for weaker, more logical minds than his.

Next, in the peak of the floods he’s come out with the gem that he wasn’t going to politicise the disaster, but instead was going to go up there and make sure the government didn’t waste any money.  This shows us exactly where his priorities lie…not assisting people after a natural disaster, but money.  The man’s a positive saint!  How he didn’t get elected PM with that caring, all-inclusive attitude I’ll never know.

He then proceeded to return to his holidays…not necessarily a bad thing as it left the people who would actually be useful helping out at ground zero.  Of course he then saw Kevin Rudd getting press coverage by helping out (in his own electorate) so thought he’d get some of that.  He rocked up somewhere muddy, washed a couple of walls WHILE WEARING SUIT PANTS and then pissed off again once the cameras had finished “accidentally” catching him at work.  Truly a man of the people.

He then doubled-down in the hypocrisy stakes by whinging about the one-off levy the Government is going to impose to rebuild Qld infrastructure by:

a)  Stating that people wouldn’t want to pay twice and lying about the fact that the levy is for rebuilding and not for giving to people directly.

b)  Ignoring the fact that his Government imposed 6 levies during their time in office, none of which were to fund infrastructure programs, and most used to compensate for ideologically driven programs like the deregulation of the milk and sugar industries or Ansett failure.  I do agree with the gun buy back one though.

Which finally brings us to today.

To continue with his meme of responsible government by opposing everything, Tony has decided to try to block the levy legislation in Parliament.  After all why should everyone pay for those bloody Qlders…it’s not like he ever goes there (outside of an election campaign).

For the final nail in his coffin he has sent out an email to his army of trogodlyte acolytes stating that he is going to oppose this levy with all his might so they don’t have to waste $400 on money that could be used to get their BMW’s detailed, but at the bottom he asks for a DONATION to fund this campaign.

It’s staggering to think that any rational human being (I know I shouldn’t say that in reference to the Monk) would think this is a good idea on any level.  Of course he’s immediately invoked the Howard defence…”it wasn’t me, I didn’t hear anything, must have been a staffer”.

Surely this sort of tin eared approach to populism must prompt the “brains” of the Liberal party to consider a fast exit stage right for him…but then again they’re not exactly bulging with talent to replace him are they.

I say Pyne for LotO…at least we’d get some good comedy out of it.

Christmas – the time for giving

December 17, 2010 Leave a comment

With the Yule season traditionally being a time for giving and goodwill towards all, let’s recap some of the recent “gifts” we’ve received:


  1. Milking tragedy for political purposes. The old standard raises its ugly head once again with the recent tragedy at Christmas Island (how apt).  Long a favourite of both sides of politics, this time it was the political class playing a straight bat and the talking heads jumping in with both feet.  Everyone’s favourite flogger Bolt didn’t wait for the bodies to cool down before leaping in, salivating with gusto at his opportunity to sheet all blame for this and every other asylum seeker issue to the current Government, in complete defiance of any reasoned analysis.  Of course we all know reasoned analysis is not his stock in trade (see his climate change denialist posts for examples of that), but he went for jugular with unseemly haste.  I think it even shocked his rabid supporters and he was back-pedalling furiously trying to cover his arse and make out he didn’t cast the first stone.  Frankly, the man is a raving lunatic and virulent scumbag of the highest order.  His vitriol should only be reserved for those closet sociopaths who get their jollies from the suffering of other humans, content in their little “I’m all right Jack, screw everyone else” bubble.
  2. Subverting the rule of law. The good old USA and their bent-over lackeys in Sweden once again proved to us that the law is only good as long as it does what the US wants it to…anything else is bad.  As we’ve seen with the Assange dealings, it looks like there is no length they will go to in an attempt to draw attention from their own internal problems.  As we have all seen, Assange may be a bit of a prick when it comes to women, but neither of the two involved initially wanted to press charges and the case was actually dropped and Assange given express permission to leave Sweden.  It has repeatedly been stated that he has not actually been charged but is only required as part of the investigation, but why does this require extradition to Sweden and why can’t the investigators talk to him in London, as has been repeatedly offered?   I suspect if they do actually get their hands on him, not long after the case being rapidly dropped in Sweden Julian will find himself in a large box with a black bag on his head on his way to disappearing.
  3. A cricket team full of suck. It’s not that I’m a fan of the Poms at all…it’s just that the Aussie team is way overdue for renewal yet CA will not bite the bullet and make the required changes, probably because of their need to generate revenue as opposed to improve the sport in our country.  As such we have a team of players past their prime mixed with NSW grade cricketers, combining to produce the wonderful displays we saw yesterday.  They need to bite the bullet and sack the coach, Ponting, Clarke, Hussey, Haddin, bring in some fresh blood and stick with them!!  They should either bring White in as captain, make Watson captain and probably build up Paine as the captain in waiting, but only if his form warrants him being in the team.  As for these calls for Ponting to stand down as captain to focus on his batting…his current form wouldn’t keep him in the team as a batsman at all.  Oh well, it’s nice to have a dream isn’t it?


So any other lovely “gifts” we should look forward to this Christmas?

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