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Slippergate…FAIL!

May 18, 2012 66 comments

Ah the Coalition…always good for a laugh. Whether it’s the batshit insane hyperbole they spout at the drop of a hat or the lengths they will go to to demonstrate their mastery of hypocrisy, they can always be relied upon to stuff themselves up eventually.

Without even delving into the depths of the Thomson affair, where they are repeatedly asking for his vote to be excluded in Parliament (in defiance of every democratic principle) because he is under investigation for a civil matter, neatly ignoring the fact that two of their own members are currently under investigation for civil matters as well (Mirabella and Turnbull) and that one of their own Senators has been charged and convicted of theft and assault and was still allowed to vote, we can see how laughable any of their intonations of being the party of integrity and principle really are.

Then of course we come to Utegate Mark II Slippergate.  It started out with dire predictions and commentary of corruption and homosexual predation of staffers, manna from heaven for the scum gutter press we have here.

As the days rolled on this has been revealed to be as flimsy as tissue paper, with Slipper first producing Cabcharge copies to refute those claims, resulting in Ashby dropping that issue from his case.  Then we had revelations that both Pyne and Brough, Slipper’s mortal enemy in his seat, had both had contact with Ashby prior to him proceeding with his case…but nothing suss here.  In fact, they both strenuously denied any contact with him only to be caught out later with proof.  Seriously amateur hour stuff.

Next we have a finding that Ashby is running a trial by media because he didn’t go through the normal procedures for sexual harassment of mediation etc., but went straight for the lawsuit and media angle.  Again nothing suss there right?  There have also been whispers around (provided by VexNews) that Ashby was paid $50000 to lodge his claim, which was suspiciously timed to be right before the Budget being handed down with the promised surplus.  I know it sounds a bit conspiracy-theoryish, but why did he sit on these claims for months and only produce them at the time most guaranteed to hurt the Government the most, and couple this with his contact with Pyne and Brough prior to lodging the claims and it looks seriously dodgy.

And now comes the final nail in the coffin, or more likely bullet in the foot.  Ashby has added further to his claims, with him accusing Bob Carr and Barnaby Joyce of “vicitimising” him by comments on Twitter.   I know there’s many people all over the world who are profoundly traumatised by negative comments on a free social network service, especially when you have to search to read those comments or opt to follow the people who are making them voluntarily…I mean it’s the worst pain in the world isn’t it?  /sarc

If this doesn’t immediately highlight the character of the sort of people in the LNP I don’t know what else will.  I fully expect Ashby’s case to be laughed out of court and him to be thrown to the wolves by his LNP/Coalition handlers.  If we’re really lucky he’ll name names and spill the details of how this was manufactured…even the media won’t ignore something this juicy that trashes their sponsors.

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Joe Hockey: comedian

The Budget was released yesterday with the Government coming up with a slim $1.5bn surplus.

With the media being the way they are, of course there was no acknowledgment of the Government keeping its promise of a surplus.
Instead the talking head coverage was on two basic themes:

1. This budget is a bribe to get votes back for the Government. Of course this has NEVER EVER HAPPENED BEFORE IN THE HISTORY OF POLITICS.
2. This was an “election” budget, contrary to all logic that the election is next year and another budget will be handed down before that…despite the media wishing and praying for an election before then.

Then the cherry on top of the crapulence that is our media coverage was a rare gem from Joe Hockey.
Joe got up in front of the cameras and with a completely straight face said that this Government’s hand outs to the less well off was purely bribery and they weren’t going to stand for that, so they would be voting against it.
Seriously!!

Now as anyone older than 5 knows, the Howard government that Joe was a member of made an art form of the voter handout, and in fact got so good at it that they would throw us a $5 tax cut and expect us to worhsip the gournd they walked on for the privilege.
It’s hard to believe that anyone in politics could be THAT stupid (I know I know, Barnaby Joyce yada yada), but I think it’s more than that.

Either Joe is has such a breathtaking lack of self-awareness that he feels free to spout such unfounded dribble at the drop of a hat, or in fact he is a master at ironic comedy.
I see him as the next Elliott Goblet or Stephen Wright with that particular brand of observational humour with the ironic twist.

After all, as the Shadow Treasurer he couldn’t really be stupid enough to talk that much shit could he?

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