Home > Australian politics, Media, Technology > Open letter to the Australian media – the sequel

Open letter to the Australian media – the sequel

It’s been a few months since my last letter so I thought I’d take the opportunity to catch up and let you know what I thought of your recent performance.

I didn’t think you could improve on your performance during last year’s election, but I was pleasantly surprised to find that you had leapt ahead in streets and bounds.  Here are some of my favourite aspects to your performance.

1.   Simple is best. And by this of course I mean the simplicity of the Australian public is the best thing for you.  By feeding them a constant stream of dumbed down content so that anything complex is reduced to a three word slogan or 20 second sound bite you are doing them a big favour by not making them think too much about their news and telling them what they need to hear.  After all there’s nothing worse than sitting down after a long days work and having to think about some matter of public importance…far better to have a catchy slogan of trite sound bite instead.

2.  Facts are not your friends. Well to be more precise, the complete facts are not your friends…facts in isolation or out of context work wonderfully well for you.  Take the brouhaha about the carbon tax for example.  If you had mentioned the election promise occurred before the hung parliament and before the need to negotiate everything with the Greens and Independents, hence wasn’t really a back down but more of an acceptance of the way things have to be, then you wouldn’t have got nearly the same level of outrage (and website hits/sales…kaching!) as when you simply repeated over and over “broken election promise”.  It’s also commendable that you managed to convince everyone that this is the only time this has ever happened in the history of politics in Australia…masterstroke.

3.  There’s no such thing as a bad disaster. Disaster porn is an absolute gold mine for you all, and you squeezed every single morsel out of it that you possibly could…mind you there’s been a few to practice with hasn’t there.  It’s so easy to do…basically shoot a few high profile bods off to the middle/surrounds of the affected area with a camera crew and raincoat/hardhat/gumboots, live cross to them every 15 minutes and capture the anguish/empathy for the affected citizens.  Cap it all off with a montage of people being brave set to some sweeping music and you have yourself a winner.  Plus, even though you’ve outlaid for the people to fly there it’s a massive cost saver because you don’t need to sink any money into investigating real news.

4.  Trivia is king. When investigating real news is too hard or it would take too much effort to get the facts behind a serious story, then trivia or celebrity or preferably both is your sure-fire route to success.  After all how else do you explain how the budding relationship of an ex-cricketer/piss-poor TV host and actor/model became headline news for 3 days?  Don’t forget this is why Today Tonight and A Current Affair have such a thriving viewership.


In all it has been a pleasing performance from you all, particularly in your contest in the race to the bottom…after all it doesn’t matter who comes first you all eventually get there.  And no-one ever went broke underestimating the Australian public.

Keep up the good work.


  1. ozyman1234
    February 28, 2011 at 1:47 PM

    Top spray!

    As a former reporter -way too humble to call myself a “journalist”- I realised early on that I had, unfortunately, far too much respect for “facts” and the principles of objectivity to succeed in such exalted company as Kochie, Annabelle, Andrew Bolt et al, and so I quit and became a garbage collector.

    It’s great to see you giving credit where credit is due, and encouraging our fourth estate to continue its self-absorbed and self-congratulatory journey towards ignominy. Long live Piers! Long live the exalted Alan Jones! Long live Rupert, and his menagerie of mendacious clones!

    • February 28, 2011 at 1:58 PM

      Thanks for the support ozyman…now if only they would read my post for themselves…or is that too much like oncsorting with the enemy?

  2. ozyman1234
    February 28, 2011 at 3:26 PM

    Tweet any of the OO operatives and tell them you are a public servant, MS. Then you’ll get plenty of hits from journo-types.

    Meanwhile, I will keep spreading your words among my email contacts.

    • February 28, 2011 at 3:37 PM

      Ha ha…sounds like a plan. Unfortunately I don’t use Twitter…

  3. Feral Skeleton
    March 1, 2011 at 10:23 AM

    I Tweeted your spray for you, MS.

  4. Tom R
    March 2, 2011 at 11:01 AM

    Nice Spray Masssive. The great unhinging continues unabated. I wonder, where was the condemnation for alan jones and his treatment of the PM after the faux outrage expressed after yabot had his bobble-head moment after a journo asked a simple question?

    • March 2, 2011 at 3:39 PM

      I know Tom…I’m surprised (though I shouldn’t be) at how apeshit they’ve gone…and I am particularly noticing the constant emphasis on “she lied”…nothing about the carbon tax itself, but more on the fact that it was a “lie”. It’s like the Howard years and “non-core” promise never existed, let alone Abbott’s admission that nothing he says can be classed as truth unless it’s written down.

  5. Tom R
    March 3, 2011 at 6:59 AM

    The thing that strikes me the most MS is how yabot is vehemently accusing her of lying, while when he claimed ‘no new taxes’ and then a couple of weeks later revealed his maternity er ‘levy’, it was all cool. That was far closer to an actual ‘tax’ than this is (in fact, as Grog mentions, it is more a fixed rate ETS than a tax, something she has always said would be brought in). Even today, the oo is claiming this ‘huge lie’ is a carbon copy of Rudds plan. WTF??

    Well, at least their ramblings can be entertaining at times in the depths they plunge to try and twist events to their view.

    • March 3, 2011 at 9:05 AM

      I’m sure it’s because he has the memory sapn of a goldfish, and assumes that the Australian public does as well. After all that’s the way the MSM treats us…the Charlie Sheen thing being a point in case. Who cares what some brain-fried actor does?

  6. March 3, 2011 at 5:36 PM

    You hit the nail on the head, MS. Good stuff.

    • March 4, 2011 at 9:56 AM

      Thanks Migs…how else would you explain 5 days in a row of censure motions when none of the previous ones passed? The man is a complete arse-clown.

  7. reb
    March 15, 2011 at 5:08 PM

    “arse clown”

    Now there’s a compliment for the fkn w@nker!

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